Dawn Phelps is angry at the lack of calibre of candidates for work. Blaming txt speak as one of the failings of candidates, as well as lack of skills in their set of attributes. Well madam Phelps I will enlighten you.

AN OPEN LETTER TO DAWN PHELPS

You are very right that people use txt speak these days. Especially as the young teens and young adults seem to be turbo fingered at writing messages to who or what or how has fussed their life up.

But you seem to have missed something Ms Phelps. This is the culture we are living in and you my friend need to deal with it. The younger generation are married to their mobiles, its their life whether its music or videos or some page about how to turn from looking like a tangerine to a Satsuma using a readymade sunbed.

Some leave school with nothing, not because they CBA but because they r being failed (im using txt spk annoying innit?)

So maybe if the menus were written in txt speak then maybe the candidate might be a little more RESPONSIVE. 

Actually im jking wiv u cos its tru tht teenz r lay z in rite-ing athg. (its so much easier to do this by phone you know)

Unlike Mr Carl Cooper the man who did a Gerald Ratner and jeopardised the business he works for, you have not slagged benefits culture - good for you. But your picture frightens me, are you going to flail them with that rolling pin if they use txt spk in recipes, or refuse the retraining? Where exactly are you going to get recruits? For a job which pays 21k a year, wouldn’t a graduate or a level standard be more to your liking?

There are plenty of Heston fans out there I for one. So some might have done a food tech course and specialise in organic and natural foodstuffs. I think madam you are just not looking far enough. You just want a quick turnover and want to negate certain aspects like re-training. We all have to retrain as new technologies are coming in/ even me who’s an I.T whiz. Technology changes and so do people and education. Clue yourself up a bit before going kentonline and again attacking an already jilted, beaten battered and bruised POTENTIAL workforce.

There are providers out there like Avanta, Pitman Training, G4S, Myjobguru and colleges who are GIVING a lot of advice and support on cv’s. they will NOT accept txt speak for a cv. I suggest you use your I-phone and ring these providers. I am a member of Avanta and they still fine tune my cv even though its very good. 

The other alternative is headhunt. Check the schools, colleges et al for potential bright young things but PLEASE don’t diss the candidates. 

They have been failed by an education system that keeps getting changed regularly like an oil change. They have had to cope to changes over the years. I suggest you empathise with your potential candidates as it was a long road to even put stuff down on cv and especially as they might have never had a job.

I wish you every success with healthy roots. 

Our garden is a harbinger of all things nasty including harbouring Hannibal lecter. You see avid reader our garden is a serial killer. Its target of choice - strimmers!

This September we would have been at this bijou small 2 bed 3 years. Already the house has killed 4 dining chairs, 1 sofa, 3 kettles, 3 Hoovers, 2 washing machines, a generic mp3 player, a classic  ipod, a 24” hi-def telly. Then there’s Alexxus’s  bop n go robot from ELC which is now a mute. A Disney princess nightlight which divorced the shelf and married the floor (in pieces). A buzz light-year dsi caddy charge station which wont shut. A virtually indestructible orig Xbox controller which is destroyed (with blaines help) an official Xbox 360 pad which the battery wont charge, keeps messing up in game with a chunk taken out of the left joystick - that was Alexxus the mooface. An ipod touch with a completely smashed screen - Blaine and fan-stand ensemble. Plus a top gear stig remote control atom.

Arrgh then the garden gets into competition with the house. It has killed 5 yes 5 strimmers. It also does not like flymos with plastic cutters. You can guarantee within seconds of attaching one, it will snap. The garden is pure EVIL.

We have 2 gardens. The back one is a third patio and ¾ Armageddon. The grass grows so quick you could mow it in the morning and by 5pm you need to recut.

The fronts worse, we have a gate and some stairs to the front door. One side there’s a slope and the other is a triangular plot of doom. Its huge and on a slope so as you look it has an incline right to left of a 4 feet climb. that’s not all we also have a bit by the fence we have to push a mower up. So you run up with it then backtrack and hope you don’t fall into the couple of grassed over potholes or clumps of coots grass which have been genetically modified in Pfizer labs.

Strimmers last 3 months max, before the mower with the metal blade of death. We had 2 strim (everything) so you was forever re stringing the strimmer, waiting for it to cool down or your hands will be ringing with vibration AFTER doing it.

But it will die, and usually even after taking regular breaks and such (sounds like a flipping computer usage manual) it will smoulder, so you frantically blow on the strimmer to cool it off, then it will smoke a lot and already you can hear the megalomaniacal laughter from the evil garden. Then it will get weak and lose power and finally it dies and CREMATES ITSELF.  

This happens EVERYTIME and frankly 5 strimmers = about 80 quid. 80 quid spent on self destructing plastic electric motored grass killers.

Our front garden has these….PLANTS which appear. Usually about 2in across in girth, with seeds and stuff they are like triffids. Popping up here and there and they are a pain in the proverbial to remove. Then there’s the bramble orchestra with looks mutated. The stingers which annoy like flies in a portaloo. GARDENING IS HELL.

Some people show off their gardens and say “ooh look at my petunias” or my roses are a hybrid” I just want to get in some of their faces and scream “shuuuuutttttttt uppppppp” some of these people are a farce, they don’t doddery go and tend their gardens, oh no. they phone mr tax avoidance, I will do that for you, yes that is no problem as long as the cats home does not get all the money and you could fund for me an ickle minor teeny weenie real estate investment in Dubai.

Come on how many people ACTUALLY do their gardens?……..right and how many actually buy in help? Hmmm didn’t think of that did you? Like some so called well tendered homes. Did they really tidy up, polish the brass horseshoes, Hoover the shag pile, spray the airfreshner. Warm the teapot, buy the earl grey? Hmmm some people are frauds aren’t they so be careful as it isn’t what it seems. 

Its like the other day. I went out in thistledown, the world his wife and 3 lovers are in a supermarket and buying the potted seeds, manure pots, grow bags or going down to mr r-goose and buying all sorts for the pending summer YET ITS RAINING AND WE ARE IN A DROUGHT. These “sheep” need shearing. RANT OVER!

Right back to Anthony Hopkins. Atm it looks like the savannah, with the long grass. Im sure I saw a lion, 2 tigers and a fleeing zebra or it might be me taking too many painkillaz.

In short, I too will be turning into a killer because as soon as this wet weather passes I will MURDER that garden.

Have a happy summer and thanks for reading 

 

 

 

 

 

Death is everywhere In the papers, on the internet, on the TV and in the street. You cant avoid it. Its like taxes or paying the TV licence fee or another unfortunate soldier dying in Afghanistan - its INEVITABLE and its ONGOING. 

Every day we try to avoid mr reaper by dieting, exercise, prevention or some flipping radical all singing welsh voice choir, river dancing FAD. This will get you in shape, these patches will get you off your cravings, eat to get slimmer, goto zumba classes they will be good for you MAN ITS RELENTLESS.

Watch what you eat? Was it gonna do? Kill me? Jump out of the fridge like Cato, slap me around a bit. Play cod Bruce lee chop socky (you gotta admit Bert kwouk is brilliant when he isn’t chasing chickens for Harry hill - when Harry hill was good and not a SELL OUT)

What’s the reason for this post you may ask well I tell you avid reader…..DEATH IS NOT TO BE SNIFFED AT.

It could happen anytime, any place and anywhere like the Joan Collins and Leonard rossiters martini ads from the 70s.

Someone who used to sign me on at the local job emporium passed away earlier this year. She was a funny and caring and brilliant woman. She loved my kids. She loved all kids. I used to wheel Blaine into those doors every two weeks to give mr Blair or mr Cameron my signature. She would immediately get out of her chair and start to talk to my son. She would kiss him and cuddle him whilst I signed my ub40 and she tapped one handed on the keyboard. She didn’t care what her superiors would say or be berated for being FAMILIAR with the CLIENTS. She was a human being showing what is a rarity these days HUMANITY.

She, last year kept getting headaches and went to see the doctor of quack. After tests the prognosis was terminal. Her cancer was in such an advanced state, that there was a time limit and it was ANYTIME.  I heard today of her death and her funeral. How it was standing room only at the place being held. How the office raised 600 quid in her honour. I was choking back tears when I heard. She was a great woman. She was there when we had a miscarriage. She was a rock. Cancer is pure evil - if you have any money at all stick your hand in your skyrockets and GIVE. Thank you.

Also lately I know someone who quite literally has a brilliant mind. Passing uni with flying colours. Had some more courses on the go, just got themselves a natty new job at a decent place and she has a baby on the way - but that horrible thing called fate cast its hand of shame. Her fiancé has an aneurism and checks out - that’s it. So sudden so instant, gone forever and GONE TOO SOON. Fate you suck. You have a sick sense of humour, fate.

The fabrice muamba factor has made life and the sanctity of it very prevalent. One day he’s kicking a piece of leather around then he’s face down in the turf.

On twitter the news broke and some start doing what some of us actually would never do and that’s pray.

It seems when all else fails and there are no other ways out we as a race pray.  Muamba made it and is back to some sort of health. Some people like the persons above are not so lucky. Death always wins. Time and death win at everything. You run out of time and you run out of life. If you REALLY want to watch a good film about how precious life is watch IN TIME. It might be mr timberlake, but he is actually BELIEVABLE. And we watch a LOT of films.

A couple of weeks ago my mother and future mother in law were rushed into hospital the same weekend. Mother in law had her bowel taken out a few years ago and thus has a BAG (I wont go into the details just Google it please) so her immune system is compromised. 

This time she caught pneumonia. Oh flip we thought GAME OVER! Thankfully not. But it was a scare. My mother had her bowel operation same weekend. She ended up in re-sus. The thoughts going through our minds as a family and the dread of THE CALL. (plus drying out from antidepressants on severe cold turkey - life to me is very VERY raw.) they are both slowly recovering but the thoughts and how you respond and the worries and the restlessness is just too horrible to mention.

Those events and the fact that when my cab driver of 9yrs took me home from moggies and we saw a horse drawn glass carriage hearse with the top hat and tailed drivers and the horses with the regalia on their heads and going round the corner and seeing a hearse being laden with flowers for another unfortunate passing just makes you REALISE that life is for living and we need to stop PLAYING GOD OR RUSSIAN ROULETTE with our lives. We only live once, that’s it, one try, no rewinds, no refunds. No replacement products.

The moral of this post is this. Lately as ive turned 46 the spectre of death hangs above ALL our heads. People dropping dead suddenly or getting hospitalised is more prevalent now than ever before.

Ive been told that I could have sleep apnoea and have a condition like muambas. I will get to be seen to see if that is correct. I’m taking no more chances. This cat has used his 9 lives. Time to get serious and try to avoid it all.

If this post moves you at all you would do the same if not you’re a robot and cups of oil are 2 for 1 at the local all night garage.

Look after yourselves Kent because no-one else can do it for you. 

Thanks for reading

 

 

If you have not read this story http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentonline/news/2012/april/30/hairdressers_murder.aspx 

Please do so now.

This will upset some people so if you don’t want the realism I write here then please read something else thanks.

BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY. Yeah I’ve said it, and by heck I mean it.

This morning another person is senselessly slaughtered. Another statistic, another family blighted, another family wounded another sad and bitter story to muse over until its unfortunately yesterdays fish and chip paper.

I am not religious but to me life is sacred, it should be idolised, set in stone and not cheapened by 24hr news stations blasting out death and tyranny and destruction and be so muthabuzzing BLASÉ about it. 

We did not ask to be born and we certainly did not ASK to die in these circumstances.

Typical newsfeed would say “British soldier dies in Afghanistan - family informed”, so cold so unfeeling. Its like it was spoken to by a dalek or the announcer at embankment station telling you to mind the gap but instead giving us all the horrible news that our heroes have again been slain in the name of doing Americas dirty work because they are too busy to do a lot of it themselves.

A few years ago someone I knew was brutally murdered (I know a couple of people who were murdered), even though there’s a facebook page about him, still does not bring him back and that is my point. That its murder, its death, it’s the end. You cant re-wind, you cant reload and the Selecta’s broke for ever. Especially as his memory and the severity of it is still etched into peoples fragile memories.

Its so final. And sentences these days are laughable, from conditional discharges to maybe a ten stretch. Some get life tariffs with a number but they are all ALIVE!

We are paying our taxes whether by proxy or proper. We are supposed to have a justice system - what justice system?

Gangs going round tooled up with knives semi automatics, knuckle dusters, bits of pipe or masonry or baseball bats. If you hold any of these things you should be arrested for INTENT. You cant say (cod west Indian/kent/london crossover) “waa gwann Babylon, me just ad dis blade eer to peel me or-rannnnge” (check lea tiearneys blog life in the ghetto , to bring you up to speed)

How can you explain the pistol, the baseball bat, the rocks and stones - you cant. It totally negates negotiation.

We see everyday, murder suicides where family are slain by irate men who have been so called WRONGED by their ex partners. The ex-partners have tried to move on but the lunk who wouldn’t know the meaning NO if it was in neon flipping Vegas lights - still try to push it and finally they wrongly decide “no-one can have then - they are mine” what a pathetic attitude dontcha think. Its over idiot, get over it. 

Why do these morons have to stoop to these so called lengths. And people say “they were so quiet, nice people” oh yeah but now they have been taken away by someone who made their choice prematurely for them. Like the poor lady this morning. Did she really have a premonition when she woke up she would be in the hospital fridge by 4pm this afternoon?!?!?!

What makes my blood boil, is that sometimes in these domestics the assailant targets the children which the partner has had after him (or her) kills them and the mum and stays alive. This is where the death penalty should come in. child killers are the scuzz of the earth. They are vipers, venomous creatures that should be sent somewhere else.

There should be no excuses for taking a life if it was not self defence and if it was can you explain in the action sequences whether you was thinking rationally or whether you had the red mist. that’s a grey area and I think for self defence we should not have it. That is if it is BEYOND reasonable doubt. But you could argue “supposing the dna was contaminated?” like the Meredith kercher case.

But cold pre-meditated murder, the planning, the execution, the lack of morals whether it be child, mother father, grandfather or grandmother. Makes no odds. We should not be paying to keep these people in prison. That is appeasement. That is a lack of backbone. And we are supposed to be GREAT BRITAIN. Is the words flipping shambles silent by any chance?

If a bomb plot was being hatched, the future assailants are caught before the bomb went off for instance should have a MAXIMUM LIFE TARRIFF. No parole, no appeal, nothing. 

There’s a game called call of duty modern warfare 2. There is a level called “no Russian” you can either play it or skip it. Me being a realist played it. You basically go through Moscow airport machine gunning everything that has a pulse and I mean everything. Some people would find it disturbing. I hate it when video games are criticised for realism they should be applauded not slated. In no Russian the kill counter is astronomical. Now in this country if you get yourself a automatic harbinger of death, slay all and sundry YOU WILL GET A LIFE SENTENCE. Now is that right to you? Does that sound right? Innocent lives taken away - with evil and intent. Is that what we do in this country is it. It advocates violence our ye olde draconian laws do. 

We have free reign to pillage and murder because our laws say so. it’s a licence to. Hey you aint gonna get the death penalty. When you have dealt out all the pain and suffering its ok my friend YOU STILL HAVE YOUR LIFE!!!….. But you have TAKEN away theirs.

Police being killed and maimed trying to uphold the law. A law which if it gets any older needs a leaf blower to blow away the cobwebs. Sick of the so called do gooders who say “ no death penalty its barbaric yada yada” well you would change your tune if it happened to you and yours.

This so called CARE IN THE COMMUNITY years ago when mental patients escape from secure units, go and get a machete (for flips sake, even I dunno where to legally get one and how can a machete be given to these people? How can you justify selling one “oh hello what do you need this for mr cycle path?) and randomly maims and kills in the street - they should not be killed because the real people who need the death penalty are the people who FAILED THEM. 

You cant make a mental patient defend the indefensible but you can the so called health authorities and government departments who let these sort of things happen.

How can you defend life sentences, you watch the TV or listen to the squawk box radio, mr X gets a life sentence for doing Y and will be sentenced to Z. we shout at the TV and radio. We don’t say “they got what they deserved, bravo clap clap” when we ACTUALLY SAY “yeah good for you you (expletive) hope you (expletive) rot in hell you (expletive) (expletive) . We wish death on them, all the time we hear this. When Raul moat was going round newky doing his “falling down” film impression, morons are saying “you’re a legend, good on ya mate whay whawahy” when some of us was wishing death on him for killing one guy and ruining another’s life to the point of self execution.

As we wish death on them like the scuzzbucket venebals and his cohort for poor James Bulger - which today is still causing a lot of heartache, pain and suffering but our BS government with its BS policies keep these (expletive) (expletive)  alive. Legalise the death penalty. Feeding the cold hands that kill. Giving them sky and TVs and playstations and kindles and the internet and social media and social following which your government calls SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE. We set an example, the UK - A BAD ONE

Britain, you sicken me.

ps these are MY views, i do not see this post as insensitive,killing someone is insensitive or did someone forget to write that down now someones been arrested for the subjects murder. makes no odds killing is killing NO JUSTIFICATION. he will ahve his day in court but he will get a life sentence - to live his life where hers was so creully taken away RIP

PPS also the victims families will have their own life sentences. the hurt and the pain will go to their graves. they too pay the penalty the death penalty - where a part of them has been murdered.

 

thanks for your loyal support kent - BE SAFE!

 

 

 

All the time I was blowing steam like a steaming kettle yesterday, twitter reminded me of another reason and the most important one about Carl Cooper’s “stand” against the so called great unwashed.

And that is this. MINIMUM WAGE. 

How can this buffoon justify paying everyone £100 a week with the “opportunity” to earn the extra 1 to 200 quid a week with the stressful cold calling, hard selling, steam rollering, BULLYING to get maximum coin?

I have seen the programs on TV about staff at fly by night firms having to lie about who their real identities are. Where the onus is “sell sell sell”. what incentive is there if your on a 100 quid start? That is not minimum wage is it its MICROSCOPIC WAGE. Is that LEGAL?

In this climate we are all circus jugglers trying to balance kids, mortgages, finances, rising prices, council taxes and other IMPORTANT STUFF. Hey but according to mr pie in the sky you can do that cant you?

Hey he cant even tell the truth to the papers here’s the spec for the job on this site http://jobseekers.direct.gov.uk/detailjob.aspx?sessionid=e6bcd4d5-2efc-4a4a-8411-e1bf6d5c6c9f&pid=2&j=CAK/56970 

(and mr cooper says the unemployed DON’T wanna work - I spit in his coffee chain drink.) we do our homework mr cooper why don’t you?

Job number CAK/56970

Wage: £6.08 hr

ON-LINE TELESALES EXECUTIVES 

How to apply: admin@carsmart.org.uk look on the webpage

Spec:

This dynamic and growing business will support you from product training to business development. If you want to kick-start your career look no further then our energetic on-line company, you will need good communication skills as well as hands on approach to solving problems. Your role also calls for a lot of initiative plus good team working skills. Experience not necessary, if this sounds like you send over your CV today... 

Er…..um….WHERE DOES IT SAY £100 START? Or commission only, or the opportunity for 100 to 200 a week extra. MAN YOU ARE DODGY.

Another post advertised same site 

Job number CAK/56971

TELE MARKETING EXECUTIVE 

Same wage 

Spec: FULL-TIME TELESALES and MARKETING EXECUTIVES WANTED We are currently looking for ambitious, bubbly, enthusiastic sales people to join our friendly Canterbury-based office. We sell on line subscriptions and advertising space. Working hours are Monday to Friday, 9.30 a.m to 4.30 p.m. 

If he had a job at the circus of life as the amazing memory man, he would be sacked for not recalling anything.

Bottom line. Minimum wage - added commission - perks- transport allowances for the place hard to get to. DON’T BE FOOLED BY PEOPLE LIKE THIS. These sort of vacancies are advertised all the time and if you fail and are sacked cos of underperformance or other LIE’S like mr Cooper would cook up in his cauldron of shame. 

You will be put on sanction - half benefit because of the incompetence of these firms. These jobs are two a penny but all treat people the same like rubbish.

My ex job coach did this sort of work for seven years - the hours were not standard. His bosses expected him to sell ice to the Eskimos at all hours of the day. He and his kind will be expecting the same.TO GRIND YOURSELF INTO THE GROUND FOR A POINTLESS JOB WITH AN EVER POINTLESS THANKLESS WAGE. Maybe the no-showers had a moment of clarity and did their homework and voted with their feet.

You are rats in a cage, being tested to your limits, no toilet breaks so you have to have a cafiter or a pad like Paula Radcliff swears by or just cross your legs. But if you wet yourself and fuse the equipment - expect the sack.

@ mr cooper. Minimum wage is minimum wage. Saying the 100 quid start, shows you are already losing money. Especially on rising rents and the interests on your loans. My future step mum in law works for a firm just as dodgy after 30 yrs a new regime came in. 30 yrs of no debt and now the new people have a 65k overdraft just to keep the firm going. The 100 quid a week shows you have no faith and the business is already failing. See you in the dole office next week mr cooper.

 

 

 

Look at today’s virtually laughable post http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentonline/news/2012/april/26/shirkers.aspx 

(these views are my OWN, not km or their afiliates - this post will NOT be removed unless the insults of the jobless are retracted with a humble statement - i see this being an impasse)

Carl Cooper. You are a 26 year old man who refuses to grow up? Why do I say this? Because you used social media to slate the so called axis of evil seven who did not turn up on their first day at work. Using social media to slate the unemployed is playground stuff. Was you bullied for wearing glasses at school? Was your satchel taken off your back and unceremoniously thrown around the concrete vile pit of doom or was your sandwiches in your lunchbox with a faded picture of a superhero plundered by bullies?

YOU SIR are a bully. What you are offering in wages is purely laughable. HOW can you justify saying that your lemmings, that’s right lemmings who will be making Carl er Cold Calling to sell whatever you are selling, make 2 to 300 pounds a week? In a double dip recession? - whatever your on can I have some? - please?

This slating of the unemployed was just a vehicle to sell and promote your company. And it was such a crass way of doing it. Filling the twitter feeds with your disdain and that you was going on the half 6 news - more self promotion. Why don’t you hire a flipping Cessna with a huge banner on the end of it saying BUY MY STUFF.

Did you ACTUALLY vet your potential clients or was you just bored sipping your Costa packet coffee whilst these people who are so morally twisted 

“stooges” BS their way through the interview? No and you know why don’t you? Because you know absolutely nothing about business and job climate and most importantly PEOPLE.

You live in deal. Deal has a lot of people “between jobs” I think unemployed is a derograty term especially with YOUR “unique” way of looking down at them. After your Andy Warhol’s 15 minutes of shame, can you actually expect someone to work for you with that empty headed attitude? They would be expecting you in a pair of jackboots, SS uniform and a Lugar pistol.

What sites did you go to? Some telemarketing positions through recruitment websites and the Jobcentre website. Well that’s really gonna get you what your looking for isn’t it? What about Reed.co.uk or monster.co.uk. What about agencies.? These people WOULD turn up even if it was the monsoon like it was yesterday. Why did you not try further afield? Forget bums on seats when your modus Operand I is pounds shillings and scrofula.

Oh yeah, the monsoon! Well carl (can I call you carl but as I’m dole scum is it mr cooper or sir or mien fuehrer?) Heresden isn’t exactly the easiest place to get too is it? What about the weather? What is some bimbo with a face of a full blown Jaffa orange has a cheeky little prang whilst fixing her make up with a trowel and a cement mixer. What if the 7 deadly sins who were on their way to prefab heaven get stuck? Then you will be turkey on xmas eve wont you? (insert expletive here)

There are contributing factors to why maybe some did not turn up:

 

The weather

Travel connections

BS their way to get that interview result

They might of ACTUALLY found something better

Illness

Bereavement

Car broken down

Trains had a one under, landslide, signal failure, power failure

Be arrested for some misdemeanour

Why get the so called Twitterati to help you? Do I scare you carl? Is it because I am a dolie with what the locals call a BRAIN. Yes a brain. I have actually read the manual that tells me to pull in the clutch get selection and actually ENGAGE IT. Whilst you would probably flood the engine with your pithy bleating like a lost lamb in Dartmoor. 

“Lost, alone and afraid the creature tries to enlist the help of lord sugar and dragons den by saying “I’m in business, I’m wounded- no-one showed up” well boo hoo hoo carl - deal with it - its business. Did lord sugar cry if one of his old Amstrad stereos was sent back through poor manufacture? No I don’t think the ice man melteth or Theo when he was formerly chairman of mill wall. Did an extra cleaner make him want to cry like a baby? Er….no (it made me cry being a Charlton supporter to work for them at the turnstiles at the away end in ‘85 - but I am a man and not an island Carl)

So carl according to you and the gospel according to automobile-quite -thick-innit (do you honestly want me to advertise someone who is a =s vacous as you - no!) we are all dole-ies, we don’t want to work. We sit on our computers and BE FAT! Is that it BE FAT! Is that a subtext is it. So what merits did these people get in the first place to land that “dream job” (chokes in derision) What plaudits did they have? Any of these by any chance?

Local knowledge

Transport link knowledge

Qualifications (yet you end with “willing to take on people “weather” sorry whether or not with experience” - negates you argument if you want sales people by advertising on telemarketing sites

Experience

Knowledge of the job

Achievments in the field

Loyalty to the company - did you ACTUALLY follow up their CV’S ? did you ACTUALLY contact mentors and referees? Did you ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEM? You question the unemployment of people when its your judgement that is MORE than questionable.

Did you get advice about your business? Or like Lauren Goodchild of http://www.myjobguru.co.uk/ actually DID the above? She has had loads of experience in business and has started her own and her attitude is unlike yours, its POSITIVE. Why don’t you used your hard squandered to contact her and talk turkey? And her business is SUCCESSFUL. Why? Because she has empathy, she knows and understands PEOPLE. All you know is to use a Smartphone (its smart cos you are not so are you gonna insult it too?)

(I did an employability course with Lauren and PASSED because I am unemployed and proud to be armed with my 3 a levels and POSITIVE ATTITUDE to finding work Herr Carl)

On the question of office space and the room for your SURFS. HOW can you make a snap decision of hiring more space when this actually could have happened these so called 7 deadly sins of dole-dom so called NOT TURNING UP.  Good business sense would have prevailed if you had actually thought it all through instead.

Planned your office space beforehand

Allocate collateral to various areas

Have a positive exit profit target

Logically think about growth but in your case SHRUNK sorry sunk. 

Think about what workforce you need

What is your work catchments area

Finding out which places have a better worker-job ratio then just going headlong 5 months after last Christmas

Lastly treating your workers with respect. If they read your frankly pathetic posts on twitter - WHO WOULD WORK FOR YOU?

 

We are NOT in a something for nothing culture. That is frankly bobbins mate. All the questions below are answered with a small word (even you can say it) no.

Did we ask to be unemployed?

Is it great that we are labelled shirkers?

Do we have kids for the sake of it?

Do we sit on our butts all day eating the gross domestic product of Malawi?

Are we all followers of the church of giro?

Do we like being bored, with no life, no future, suicides, repossessions, family break-up etc?

Well Herr Carl the great financier? Well……….? 

Another thing Carl the plastic entrepreneur. Dragons den would not pee on you if you was on fire as you did not do ANY of the above. Especially peter Jones would have a major problem for a start.

Carl, the party you love so much has turned London into an elitist, white and right wing environment were the rich and the privileged get to buy and live where the hell they like whilst those so called freeloaders.com (thanks to the oh so jolly rent capping ceiling) have to move to at least 160 miles away so these “shirkers are in your manor me old china - deal with it. I call it racism, I call it ETHNIC CLEANSING. I call it TREASON. And insulting your own kind is treason. These are your future workers and they may have a reason why they don’t work mr Enoch Powell wanna be. 

I am NOT defending those who didn’t turn up (if they actually did - I think you were just capitalising on the recession thing - timing? Oh well timed, well done, spot on (claps slow and sarcastically)

Read my blogs carl - put the abc 123 book down and actually LEARN to read:

These are WHO you should be berating http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/intolerence-injustice-and-insurrection.aspx 

 

These are who you should be employing 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/NONE-employment.aspx 

(and the guy mentioned in the post is going hungry, learning to drive to work for imbeciles like you)

 

Companies with your attitude have the same mentality - do you want to train them all as bulldogs? 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/Agressive-Progressive.aspx 

 

This is what’s happening LOCALLY 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/Education-abortretryEPIC-FAIL-.aspx 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/Glaxo-Smith-DECLINED.aspx 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/Charlie-and-the-spin-doctor-factory-(an-open-letter-of-sorts).aspx 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/Rich-Borough.aspx 

http://blogs.kentonline.co.uk/post/NONE-employment.aspx 

I have wasted 3 hours constructively using surgery to de-construct you. Read those blogs and then come back to me and argue. Just let me finish off my huge pie, case of beer, skin a Quaalude, fart and play skyrim (one of those statements is true which one?)

Goodbye Carl im now off to go somewhere and BE FAT just for you. 

And that is free and non-taxable - now you have something for an argument about NOTHING. 

FIN.

PS 2.7 million people out there to choose from, all have qualities and merits. To call them all lazy is an indictment to their integrity. You have INSULTED 2.7 million people. I hope you are pleased with yourself.

PPS. The DWP used to pay cash incentives to employers who for a few months be a unpaid worker. The national insurance used to be paid for. But now because of job agencies like AVANTA, G4S And Kennedy Scott who have long term unemployment people on their books) , the goal posts have been stolen and not moved. The Governments 18 - 25 policy (sounds like a bawdy package holiday) is putting anybody in vacant positions. It might be some of these people who were sent to Mr Coopers premises from these vendors. It would be better for Mr Cooper to set up as one of these agencies and make some money instead of breaking bread with the big guns on twitter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TEN DAYS AGO I stopped taking anti depressants. And man do I feel go….er yuk.

I didn’t go to the farmers doctor. I didn’t want to go to my surgery who prioritises pounds shillings and platinum over little children with high temperatures.

So its gone Easter, Daddy Xmas is sleeping. Mummy Xmas is now a cougar (shhhh don’t tell mr clause)  The reindeer are turned to venison (dasher dancer donner and blitzen, in the food processor started to mix them) the fire has been peed on the dogs have been sent back to Battersea and my regular food of choice is (fanfare) COLD TURKEY!!!.

Oh my flipping god THIS IS HARD. Body has put the shutters up. Don’t need DELOITTE to put me into administration. There’s a guard house with the words ACHTUNG on a sign next to it a guard with jackboots and a lisp and a big ferocious dog.

But I’m fine…..I can cope…….honest……really…..I….can….COPE!!!!

All my life I have been addicted to something. Whether it was sex, booze, women, cocaine or other “recreational” activities. But this time something that I actually need is negating my life and frankly I have finally said NO! 

I would like to be awake in the afternoon instead of turning narco like Abe Simpson. I would actually in the morning feel like I actually want to have a breakfast instead of having a conversation with a very large white telephone apparatus.

I would actually like to go for work of a sound mind and FOCUSED. And depressants are not my bag baby yeh!

I would actually want to bury my past once and for all instead of taking stimuli to not forget but put in the little cupboard under the stairs which has the odd vinyl lp, hoover, mop and lecky meter.

Depressants suit some people and some don’t. I am not CRITICAL of who takes them. But some use them as a cop-out to get a sick note from the general non-backbone practitioner. 

I have NEVER asked for a sick note or used an excuse. I was brought up to be real and tell the TRUTH and the truth is my 20 milligram Mecca of micro tablet that I don’t love you anymore! Its over, its me and it so isn’t you I have met another and its called LIFE!

Fin.

PS so if my next set of blogs seem a lot more angry, a lot more vitroulous then its gonna be great right……..RIGHT?

The grand national, the only time of the year people have a flutter and not wearing a diabolical costume and jumping of a pontoon flapping like their lives depend on it. 

But some of us see it as barbaric, wrong and old fashioned. I’m not one of those people but I HAVE got a strong opinion on it.

On Saturday I was watching bbc I-player of the national which was 4 mins behind the actual running of the race. Partner said she put a bet on 2faced book in one of their competitions and she put it on synchronised. Seconds later I saw said horse fall badly in a slump. I was upset to see this happen as I’m trying to watch, multi task, tweet eat and hit the street.

Then I hear of the other horse called “according to pete“. I’m pretty devastated by now. I’m a carnivore, I hate being one and I did try once to be a veggie but I’m afraid where I was in the 80s  they put me well off veggie food. Especially as they cooked nut meat and rissoles in BUTTER (tries not to hurl) everything in this b and b was done in butter to a point of CARBON. I also tried Paul McCartney’s sadly departed wife’s line in food and I have tasted better cardboard im afraid (my opinion not KM’s) but according to my mum I drank a load of orange paint at two years old so obviously the lead in it has made not all my flies are buzzing.

Anyway back to Aintree. After the race I was listening to 5live and I heard my team CHARLTON had got promoted and I was elated, then I heard of the 2 horses and them checking out and that major took the edge off things.

So I go on my old friend twitter and I have a tweet rant, and one of my followers after 15 mins comes back with this “Cant understand people's problem with Horse racing... So I presume you wont be having your Sunday roast tomorrow then? “

I go MENTAL. I thought how dare you. How dare you assume I do not have a conscience when I’m eating meat cos I flipping well do.

So I hit back and say “jockeys have a choice whether or not to ride - those horses have no choice” and “when animals die in abattoirs, their deaths are not mourned by people as they are sustenance and commodities whilst it was degrading for those horses to die in front of billions of people. that’s why I was so angry. They all have feelings and all should have a choice. It sickens me when you get idiot trainers on the radio who say “the horses are dead, it’s a shame, its life so deal with it” well I would like to take who they love lock it or them in a cage, subject them to prolonged torture or endurance and see if mr plonker trainer likes it then. What a dweeb. Raaaargh

Plus 1 we do not traditionally have a Sunday roast. For one thing its expensive. 2 we are philistines and 3 all of the above

My future in laws have 2 rescued racing greyhounds. Ellie and deefer (d for dog - please don’t ask)

Ellie was abandoned mainly because of age and her back braking through racing and deefer was a racing greyhound who was kept in a tight little cage, neglected and has bad teeth because of him trying to gnaw his way out of a cage.

This is why I get angry. I hate mis-treatment and injustice. If you feel moved and want a rescue greyhound dog - please get one give them a new start. Everyone and thing whose alive needs a start unless your pure evil like that anders breivik who I would do things to that laws prevent me to do. I used to have a rescued dog which was a collie ridgeback cross breed. We called her foxy. She lived up in ringwould nr deal in ‘88. The owners used to beat it with a cricket bat until some friends went and lured the dog away and we had her and gave her a better and HAPPY life. Why do people do that? Why? What a bunch of weak plebs.

Anyway. They say ban the grand national or at least fine tune it like beechers brook having some shears put to it or the chair being scaled down. But most of all the race is too long, the obstacles too steep and dangerous and if a horse loses his rider before the start of the race regardless of 2 vets and second opinions, then the horse should be withdrawn. It was obvious synchronised had a premonition and the right to exercise that premonition was denied from him.

Now that is barbarism

 

What is it with tv licensing? Why do they treat good payers with such disdain? Why do they hound you down like dogs when you have missed one stupid payment even though you have got until august 2013 to pay for it?

In the name of George Best, why do they have to try to scare the bejabbers outa you when you are 18 months ahead payment wise?

This is what happened. Yesterday morning, door went it’s the decent postman whose not from Teesside who actually uses the thing that we have, I think the locals call it “brain”. We get the usual spam like broadband from dickie Branson (its every 3 weeks its relentless - I wouldn’t give dickie the steam of my sh……..slippers - and I don’t wear slippers) something from the people who are “gud wif foud” and TV licensing. Great, we thought our new licence is here,. OH HELL NO! it’s a demand. 14 sponduli or you will be taken off “the scheme”.

THE SCHEME - paying for a worthless piece of paper (like a marriage certificate WITHOUT  a divorce option) they wanted 7 quid a week for twenty weeks and then we are fully paid up to august 2013. So we phone them up on the 0300 number. First of all, you have 2 options and none is to speak to an advisor. Either pay by this or register that and it gets a whole lot worse. So after 4 calls and working out their egregious call system after pressing 3 and 4 and oh my god the recorded voice’s monotone voice “presssss won” pressss too” and the best one “pressss for”.

Finally get through, I do part one stating our case, then my little ticking bomb timer is slowly self winding to a climax. I hand fone over to irate partner. Partner explains, we are between jobs, have 2 small children yada yada. Miss b, it’s the scheme, you have to pay what we tell you cos its “the scheme”

After it gets to an impasse, she relents and offers a tenner to shut these bully boys up. Fone is put down and for me patience? My backside - I WANNA FLIPPING KILL SOMETHING!!!

Now avid reader, I don’t think you would like the disrespect of that call centre lemming either. Because that’s what they are LEMMINGS (I really wish just this once I can swear and tell you how I really feel L )

They are MI6, the lemming has a walther pp9, licensed to bill James wrong. Im very shaken dear reader and my brain cells have been stirred with an olive on a cocktail stick implant.

What do we get for nearly 150 quid? Eastenders? Hate it? Bbc comedy? What is remotely funny, its lost its edge. It hasn’t even got an edge. Its just as bloated and cumbersome and lumbering. Bbc news? Nothing on sky news. They have the best presenters by miles. Bbc sport? Like what? We have the very occasional footie match, the odd F1 even 5lives commentaries are restricted now and are not as mildly comprehensive as before. Talent shows? Oh my god NO! The only thing we watch is flipping cbeebies because the kids like it when my pet hate isn’t parading round the screen like that awful lewie Spence.

Alan green, Robbie savage, shelagh fogarty, Declan Donnelly asmah amir and peter Allen are great on 5live but its NOT WORTH 150 quid. Nor is Sean keaveny and Steve lamac on 6music and they are great but collectively 150 quid is NOT worth it.

We are paying for a phallic stratospheric brand new TV centre. All show and no shows. The talent is gone. Saturday night with brucie was brilliant and now I wouldn’t wee on it if it was on fire. Radio 1 have sacked some of my fav djs like kissy sellout and judge jules and instead have less paid clones. we pay our fee UNDER protest.

But if we don’t pay we get done. You have no right to protest because like everything else in life we have to conform.

TOTALLITERIAN TELEVISION

i am sending a challenge to all the bloggers and for you the public to vote. for a change we are going to write something on a subject we are less familiar with or at least something out of our subject spectrum. what i want the public to do is comment on what you want us to rant and rave about,

BUT we all just for one post blog about the same subject so if it was about ice cream we all blog about ice cream. you will be able to see the diffrences in writing and styles and kep this blog thingy FRESH. so i am asking all of you bloggers to follow and contact me on twitter @DAZZ1566 and SUGGEST subjects the public can vote on and if you agree to a challenge and for the public to either do that or put subject matter in the comments section, so no big cats, kcc, rants at specific people, pets or charities or tv.

But i was thinking on life experiences, dreams, nightmares, holidays, experiences, illnesses etc. this is your opportunity to vote for something DIFFERENT and give us a chance to actually go off the well battered track. obviously the blogs with the most hits wins and i will announce the hit rate and the winner. do you agree? will you all PLEASE comment. we write hard to entertain you all and we would like either a pat on the back or a must try harder once in a while.

one blogger other than me so far is up for it. it'll probably happen in a months time depending whether the other bloggers or you the public want something different. no pressure eh?

Thanks for reading