What happens if you dance naked around the Devil's Bush in Pluckley, Kent's most haunted village? Do 'big cats' roam the local woods? Does the Devil appear if you manage to count the 'countless stones' at Aylesford? Is Bloody Mary more than just a childhood rumour? Does a phantom hitchhiker haunt the dark lanes of Blue Bell Hill? KENT URBAN LEGENDS is a new book by full-time monster hunter and folklorist Neil Arnold, a strange, quirky and downright weird collection of tales reputedly true yet never proven, passed down through generations and best told around a flickering campfire. Chinese whispers, playground murmurs, internet rumours, and friend of a friend tales are the most potent in that they can embed themselves into a local community despite the fact such yarns are not true. Stories can spread like wildfire despite lacking any detail, causing a snowball effect that can affect an entire village, town or city. KENT URBAN LEGENDS looks at a number of stories not just related to the county of Kent, but legends which have spread across the world, varying depending on the storyteller. Have you heard the one about the famous footballer who paid the mortgage of a couple who had booked their wedding on the same day as his? Have you heard about the girl whose hair was so dirty that all manner of creepy crawlies took up residence and eventually burrowed into her brain? And what about the woman who chomped down on her Chinese takeaway only to find the remains of some animal? These type of stories are known the world over, and you can guarantee that there's always someone you know who knows someone else this has happened to. Urban legends come in all shapes and sizes, but for the most part they are tales of horror - confined to mist-enshrouded lanes and eerie woods, but with KENT URBAN LEGENDS you'll also find out what happens if you play a heavy metal record backwards, or if some horror movies are cursed. You'll also find out if the Chelsea Smilers really did slash the mouths of school children in the 1980s, and what really happened to the woman who had a Killer In The Backseat of her car. Whilst tales of the Bunnyman, The Hook, and The Babysitter & The Man Upstairs may seem to have their origins in the USA, Neil proves that there's more to these scare stories than meets the eye, and delves into similar tales from Kent often involving lone female motorists and cavorting couples brave enough to venture into the night. From video nasties, to phantom viruses, from chain letters, to tales of monstrous bogeymen and out of place animals, KENT URBAN LEGENDS is one book you won't want to read before camping, driving, babysitting, or eating a meal! Be warned...the bogeyman is real after all! KENT URBAN LEGENDS is published by The History Press, with a foreword by Janet Bord (Alien Animals), is an essential book to be read by candlelight! Available from Amazon and all good bookshops, priced £9.99

by David Jones

A "pet" dog which took a lump out of a family friend’s hand the other day reminded me why I’m not a great lover of man’s best friend. That goes for cats, too.

Considering there are roughly about 10 million cats and about the same number of dogs in the UK, it’s clear that a great many people do not share my views.

Cats, well, they can never really be “pets” in the true sense as they do their own thing most of the time, not to mention bringing in the occasional dismembered mouse or sparrow.

Maybe I’ve got a hang-up from my childhood, when my parents had a cat. I can still recall the unruly feline’s habit of sharpening its claws on the arm of our sofa, or jumping up on my back and then sliding down with its claws extended. If there had been such a thing as an Asbo for cats, my parents’ maniacal moggie would have fully deserved one.

Dogs, well, it’s much easier to make a case for them as pets. And, of course, taking a dog for a walk would force me into some much needed exercise.

On the other hand, the prospect of carrying a plastic bag to scoop up the pooch’s mess makes me feel quite queasy. Then there’s the problem of what to do with Rover when you go on holiday. This is all just too much hassle for me. I prefer to live in a pet-free environment.

My ramblings about pets bring me neatly on to the main point I want to make: don’t forget that domesticated animals, and dogs in particular, can still be dangerous, however “cute” they may appear.

I have even been bitten by my kids’ pets, a hamster and a rabbit, though not at the same time. Admittedly, though, not many people have been savaged by a goldfish.

Our friend was attacked by a dog as we were leaving a pub after a lunchtime drink. The terrier-type canine yelped extremely loudly, then jumped up and bit her finger. All she had done was to bend down slightly to take a closer look at it.

The animal’s owner immediately retorted: “Well, you shouldn’t have bent down.” An absurd comment, because that meant that any passing stranger stopping to look at the “cute” dog was in danger of being attacked. A child could have ended up minus a nose.

The moral of this story is that no dog can ever be fully trusted. No matter how cute and cuddly it might appear, there’s always a danger that their base animal instincts will surface when you least expect it.

“Never put your face close to a dog, even if it’s your own. They are unpredictable.” That was the message drummed into me when I was a kid and I still remember it to this day. Fifty years on, that message still holds good. Beware of the dog.

Having said that, I am fully aware that, for millions of people, dogs are much loved pets, a source of both companionship and joy.

By the way, my wife disagrees with almost every word I have written, except for the sentence above this one – and she wants a dog for a pet, now that we have both retired. But I’m going to take a lot of persuading. Happy dog stories, or letters of complaint from dog lovers, can be addressed to me, via the Medway Messenger.

It's not often I do 124mph down a Kent motorway but yesterday was a bit different.

Sorry officer:

"I had cramp"..."I didn't realise"..."I'm late for a cross-stitch class"..."I wondered why no-one was overtaking me"..."I haven't got my glasses on and couldn't see my speedo" ..."I've got to get my Schitz Shu to the vets"..."My nail's broken and I've got to get to A+E"..."Someone stole my snowman", were all the possible excuses I could have used but I didn't have to - haha, I got away with it!

¬_¬

There's something you need to know.

When you get stopped by a Traffic Officer, your excuse has already been heard at least 5,627,230+ times before and therefore the Officer has a bank of answers to give right back to you including a fine, points on your licence and/or a ticket in most circumstances; friendly advice on some occasions... if you're lucky.

You DO realise you've been stopped for a reason, don't you?  Ignorance is no excuse when it comes to the Law; it really isn't.

No, you're quite right, you weren't speeding but at the end of the day, something is not quite right with your vehicle which you may or may not know.  However, whatever the circumstance, you've chosen to ignore it and the chances are you think you won't get caught, so deep down if you do, your plan is to act dumb, play the fool, deny all knowledge - simplez.  No.

It might be because you have a wobbly/vibrating bumper or that your wheel arches at the rear of your vehicle are half an inch off your tyres or your tyres just look 'odd'.  It might be because your hook-up trailer looks naff.  It might be because you're hogging Lane 2 combined with something else that has caught a Traffic Cops eye and believe me they WILL look and they WILL check.

It might be you have no seatbelt on or your vehicle's MOT or insurance is out of date.  Oh yeah, you can be safe in the knowledge those fluffy, friendly, black cladded, lacy stocking wearing, white capped, hi-vizzed, Bodie and Doyle types know ALL about you before they've stopped you.

It might be because one of your passengers eyeballed a Police Officer the wrong way because he's had one too many Bristol Creams or has smoked the 'wrong' type of Golden Virgina; it could simply be your personalised numberplate doesn't fit your face ...not literally (however, in some circumstances, this could be a blessing).

If you're a foreign driver and you're flouting any of the UK Road Traffic/Safety Laws you won't be ignored like the old days.  You WILL be fined.  So just a friendly tip - make sure you've got plenty of GBP sterling on you, else unfortunately your vehicle won't be going anywhere near to Lithuania, let alone Dover.  Oh, another tip foreign brothers and sisters, don't barter or use your poker playing skills (strip or otherwise) with the Traffic Cops, it DOESN'T work.

No-one is immune to the Law in this country, including me.

Overall folks, what you don't seem to understand is you're getting stopped because you're compromising road safety; your safety, the safety of your loved ones and more importantly the safety of other roadusers around you on the road at any one time - if that's a coach, then ooooo, that's going to be about 60 odd people (someone elses mum, nan, dad, grandad, auntie, uncle, daughter, son, beloved friend).

"IT's Not Going To Happen To Me Syndrome" is a general life philosophy for a large proportion of people however, when IT does happen, there's nothing you can do about it.  You're getting stopped because "IT will happen to you if you don't do something about it" - howzat for a better understanding?  Terminal illness however, is a different story - that's a roulette you can't do anything about.

They're not called The Professionals for nothing.

A big thank you to RoSPA Kent for organising Police Shadowing with Kent Police Road Traffic Unit (Coldharbour), especially Graham and Alex for putting up with the old crow in the back - I had a great day; thanks for breaking my racetrack record

ps. No evidence of lacy stockings whatsoever to be fair.

There is often news of dog on dog’s attacks in the local press; a recent one in this very publication about a Rottweiler attacking another dog has led me to make a few observations.

 I can only remark on the facts given but several things made me very concerned both from comments made and the way that the situation was handled.

 Firstly dogs are not supposed to be off lead in a public place so both owners were not in command of their dogs. If they had been on leads to situation would not have occurred.

 The comment by the Kennel Club’s Caroline Kisko is very sensible. In my many years around dogs I have found that  Rottweiler’s in general are not a dangerous breed and are the most gentlest of canines..

The comment that it could have been a child who was attacked is not the right thing to say as it is inferring the dog is dangerous. Dogs do not as a rule naturally attack people, young or old unless provoked.

When out with a dog always be aware of dangers to you and your dog. Be considerate ot other people who may not like dogs and above all do not let your dog wander up to other dogs off lead as you are not in control of any situation that may arise.

Elaine Everest is a journalist and author specialising in canine topics.

 

 

Dogs do fight other dogs, the little dog came off worse because it was little, and this is natural. The smaller dog did go over to the larger dog, why did the owner of the smaller dog not restrain it at that point?  Both owners were in the wrong as they were not in control of their dogs.

 

Kicking out at a dog is not only cruel but downright dangerous. The dog could have turned on the person kicking it and bitten them. It is an offence to harm another dog and the RSPCA now have written evidence that the owner of the smaller dog intentionally attacked a dog intending to harm it. All this large dog knew was that it was being hurt and this would have fuelled the situation with the larger dog most likely fighting back even more.

 

Yes, the owner of the Rottweiler should have given their personal details and offered more help but we do need both sides of the story before passing judgement.

 

Above all we do not need scaremongering stories pointing the finger at a breed and saying children could have been hurt when this was simply two owners in the wrong as their dogs were off lead that led to  a fight.

 

 

As bonfire night draws near I am making contingency plans to protect my dogs from the noise of exploding fireworks in the neighbourhood. Over the years the explosions seem to louder and the celebrations run over weeks rather than the one day.

 Like many dog owners I have signed petitions asking for fireworks to become organised events by councils and charity organisations so that fireworks are no longer on sale in shops.

Last year in Swanley town centre I counted seven shops selling fireworks which appalled me not only as so many were being let off as soon as the schools kicked out but the cost of each fireworks – who has money to burn these days? I’d rather give the money to charity than use it to frighten defenceless cats and dogs.

I’m appalled by the firework counter in Asda. How can they be promoting breast cancer charities one month and supporting the sale of explosives the next? If you care about this problem please write letters and boycott these shops.

What to do on the 5^th

 I feed my dogs later in the day. They tend to sleep for a few hours after their meal so it means that as the fireworks go off they are more likely to snooze the time away. I have a radio or television switched on upstairs and down so the house has a background of noise. I make the rooms they live in warm and cosy so that they feel safe. I never take them out during times when fireworks are bound to be let off. Walks and trips to the park are changed to mornings.

 Let your dog out into the garden early to do his business. If he has an accident due to stress just remember that this is the price you pay for owning a dog and do not scold him.

 If a dog becomes stressed comfort him and never tell him off as it will unsettle him further. Treats and games will fill the few hours. A Kong stuffed with peanut butter can while away a few hours as can a treat such as a Jumbone.

Drugs and help

Never sedate a dog during firework night as this could lead to more stress. There are CD’s that can be purchased with recordings of fireworks exploding. The idea is to play these over a number of weeks on low sound to desensitise a pet. They have never worked for my dogs but I know they do work for others.

 A Dog Appeasing Pheromone (DAP) diffuser can work for a dog at times of stress. Used as a plug in or on a collar these will calm a stressed dog during times when they are out of their comfort zone. Now widely available from vets, pet stores and online the DAP diffuser can work wonders.

 Neighbours

 Try to remind neighbours that you have dogs and that fireworks can be very scary. We have a neighbour that seems to ignore this fact and lets them off several times during the lead up to bonfire night. Now I know how inconsiderate he can be I am prepared in advance to protect my dogs as much as possible.

 Hopefully this year, with the country in the grip of a recession and so many people facing job losses and cuts in pay there will be less money spent on fireworks and we can all have a pleasant 5^th of November.

 

Stay safe!

 

SAD TIMES

It's been very gloomy in our house this week. One of the dogs died. We all expect to lose our four legged friends at some time bur this death came as a shock. In our household we are at the stage of every dog being over the age of ten. In the last year we have lost three (two sisters and a brother) who made the ages of 14 and 15 before setting off for The Rainbow Bridge. That was upsetting, but expected.

Nelson (our Nellie) was a fit and happy Old English Sheepdog aged 11 and three quarters. He was an undemanding dog, loved to have his tummy tickled and to sit next to me by the Rayburn before settling under the dining room table on his furry rug. He simply died, collapsing by the patio door as I opened it to let out all four of them to do their 'business.' Such was the shock I thought he had tripped, but no, as I held him he gasped for air and passed away. His sister sat watching, almost as though she knew something was wrong. She did the same when her older sister, Peggy died. Keeping calm so as not to frighten him I pulled a rug around him and cuddled him as he took his last breaths. I dare not cry as I wasn't sure if he would feel my fear. I spoke to him about how we loved him, and how he would soon be with his mum and dad and all his doggy friends at The Rainbow Bridge. Only when he was still did I shed a tear then they wouldn't stop.

I'll miss his little ways, our home is now missing our guardian dog who would not rest until he knew where we were - he would have made a good herding dog. What is very strange is that he died on the exact spot upon which he was conceived on 30th December 1998. I recall it well as it was a very cold day and his mother and father took 20 minutes to perform 'the deed' while I stood bare footed on the cold floor supervising the match!

The next day we took Nelson to the pet crematorium near Cambridge. We do this for all our dogs not wanting to leave them with the vet or have them collected. It is the least we can do for the years of faithfullness they have given us. Wrapped securely in a blanket he was handed over to caring staff and we waited to take home his ashes in an ash casket where he now sits safe and free from harm with seven more of our much missed dogs.

I’ve just returned from Cornwall where I spent a lovely week with my husband and two of my dogs. Buster (11 ½) and Molly (10) are Old English Sheepdogs so not the smallest of dogs to fit into a car as they too need their luggage and have their needs. Also being elderly they are not as nimble as they once were so long walks and cliff climbing was out for us – thank goodness!

Here are some helpful hints on what to plan for when travelling with a dog:

Pit Stops

Don’t expect to drive from A to B in one hit without a stop. Your bladder may be able to cope with a six hour journey but your dog’s will not. We set off from Swanley at 5 am so as to avoid the M25 during morning commute time. We headed down the M3 and then took the A303 to the West Country. Stopping every 90 minutes the dogs were able to stretch their legs and do their business without becoming stressed.

Seat Covers and Safety

We have a Citroen C3 which is quite a small vehicle but the fuel consumption and running costs are excellent. In our dog showing days we ran an estate car or a van that was more suited to carrying dogs and humans. For this trip the dogs travelled on the rear seat of the car which meant that the bespoke waterproof cover came into its own. With dog fleece bedding on top and spare bedding in the seat well we were ready for the week. Our dogs are good travellers but being mindful of their safety should there be an accident both wear Clix dog harnesses that fit snugly around the chest area and click easily into the seat belt fixtures. I’ve found these to be invaluable and being adjustable we were able to use them on our other two dogs when they travelled to the kennels.

These harnesses are available from The Company of Animals and range from £10.49 to £18.49 depending on the size of your dog.

www.companyofanimals.co.uk

Food and Drink

Never feed your dog before you set off on a long journey. We find that carrying hard dog biscuits such as Bonio’s means that when you make a stop at a service area the dog can have a small snack whilst you eat your packed lunch. Do not assume that water will be available when you stop over. Keep a bottle of tap water and a dog bowl handy in the car will save the expense of buying bottled water or queuing in the ladies, dog bowl in hand when your dog is thirsty. Mentioning stopovers, please please, please, never leave your dog alone in a car even for a few minutes. Dogs die in hot cars and even if the sky is overcast and you park in the shade your car can become an oven within minutes.

 

Journeys End

We tend to stay in self catering cottages when holidaying with our dogs. To ensure that the cottage is free of dog hairs at the end of our stay we take a few bed sheets and lay these over any chairs or furniture that the dog is liable to brush past. Scented wet wipes are ideal for wiping and little marks on carpets and furnishings. Before we leave the property we use a product such as Shake and Vac on all the floors and go through the cottage with a vacuum cleaner or stiff broom so there are no reminders that our dogs stayed the week.

Next time I’ll tell you about visiting dog friendly and some not so dog friendly places with Molly and Buster.