My wife's shopping logic is beyond my understanding

by The Codgers' Club Friday, June 21 2013

by David Jones

I know this is dangerous, and well-trodden, ground, but I have to say it: The shopping habits of our other halves, the ladies that is, never cease to amaze and baffle me.

My wife works hard and the occasional bit of retail therapy is her way of relaxing. Last week, she set off at 9am for a shopping trip with a friend.

Nearly nine hours later, she had still not returned, or called me and I began to wonder if something had happened.

Maybe she had found someone with more money than me (not hard) or someone better looking than me (also not hard, do I hear you say). After 41 years of being married to me, she might have thought it was time for a change.

But, no, at around 5.15pm, the phone rang and it was my wife. “We haven’t finished yet,” she said.

“Surely you’ve had enough after eight hours,” I said. “No, we’ve still got a few more shops to do. I’ve bought a jacket but I may take it back.”

“What do you mean, you may take it back – you’re still in the town where you bought it. Either you like it or you don’t like it. If you don’t like it, why did you buy it?”

Silly of me, I know, but her response was that she wanted time to think about it. Think about it she did, and a week later she took it back. It turned out that the jacket wasn’t “her.”

I am still puzzled by the logic of it all. I cannot conceive how it is possible to spend good money on something you only like slightly, thus lumbering yourself with the hassle of a 20-mile drive to take it back.

One day, perhaps, I will understand.

It’s also a mystery to me why I am ever asked for my opinion on whether a dress, coat, or whatever, looks good.

There will never be a situation in which my wife doesn’t buy an item after I say I don’t like it but she says she does. Conversely, if I say I like it but she says she doesn’t, she’s never going to buy it.

So the whole “What do you think?” conversation is a charade which husbands/boyfriends etc are obliged to go through.

For my own part, I hate shopping for clothes, and I find it a chore, rather than a day out. I know what I want, I go straight to the shop, and I either buy it, or I don’t buy it. There is no in-between.

Therein lies the difference. Men, in general, hate shopping – shopping for anything, that is, unless it’s a boys’ toy of some kind.

For most women, I suspect, it’s an experience to be savoured, a day’s outing, if you like.

And how naive of me not to realise that I laid myself open to the possibility of more shopping trips when I decided to retire a couple of years early.

Mind you, Bluewater’s not all bad. Even if I don’t buy anything, which is usually the case, on the few occasions I allow myself to be dragged up there, half a dozen circuits of the malls at a fast pace is a wonderful way to get some exercise, without getting wet and windswept or, more importantly, without even opening my wallet.

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Categories: Moans and groans | Shopping

There are some offers I can refuse

by Nikki's world, with Nikki White Tuesday, February 21 2012

One of my friends was banging on about how great these discount voucher websites were.

She’d had a lovely meal out, and her hair styled at a top salon for less than half the price you’d normally pay.

Always on the hunt for a bargain, I couldn’t resist taking a look, and now I’m hooked, but perhaps not for the reasons the websites wanted.

Every time I get an email with their latest round of offers, I can’t wait to open them because they really make me laugh. It’s the randomness of it all that I love.

In just one day, I could get a personalised photo book for just £8 (I’ve always wanted to produce my autobiography), buy a mini fridge for £40 (presumably so I can put it on my desk so I really don’t have to leave it all day), and cut-price ski goggles (a month too late, mate, sorry).

For those weekend dinner parties, I could invite my mates round to try out my half-price murder-mystery game (or just imagine all those people I’d cheerfully wish a fictitious gruesome end), while sitting down to eat with my beautiful new cutlery set.

If I fancied a change of career, I could learn to become a web designer (at a massive 81% off, it was worth a serious thought).

I could also get my teeth whitened and my eyebrows tattooed on my face while sat in my Italian leather armchair, watching my robotic vacuum zoom around doing all the work.

If I was feeling really daring, I could turn my life around completely in just one day. But you know, I’m not that brave (or have that kind of cash to splash around).

In the meantime, I’ll keep looking forward to those emails, tempting me into a deal or two.

Although that robotic vacuum might be worth a go…

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Categories: Shopping | Internet

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