by Peter Cook

The enduring image I shall retain from the Olympics is that of the buffoon Boris Johnson dangling from a rope attached to a zip wire.

Why on earth did anyone take the trouble to get him down?

If I was an entrepreneur, I would have dangling Boris toys made for traders to sell in the street markets of Old London Town. “Roll up, roll up. Get yer mayor on a string.”

They could be constructed like those toy clowns where you pull a string and both arms and legs fly out and up as if they were doing star jumps. Consideration would have to be given as to where the string should be attached.

I was dismayed to hear that Boris got a cheer from the crowd during that interminable closing ceremony. I do hope the cheers were ironic.

Now he wants the success of Team GB to be somehow harnessed to the economy, to get Britain going again. It isn’t going to happen.

The Olympics was a great party. There were lots of games and some people won prizes. But have you ever been to a party that ended up with people saying: “Right we’ve had a smashing time, now let’s get back to work and get that old economy moving?”

Of course not. And how is Boris going to get the country going again?

By supporting deeply discredited City institutions that in large part are responsible for wrecking the economy in the first place.

And by building a floating airport in the Thames Estuary that would cost unimaginable sums of money, and that nobody really wants.

Genius!

Poor Boris, you’ve got to laugh.

There he is, enjoying a day out and grabs the opportunity for a trip down a zipwire. “It’ll make great pictures,” he thought, “and show everyone what a fun guy I am.”

Or maybe he was thinking about the airport he wants to build on our doorstep, and thought that taking flight would help him .

Well, it certainly had us laughing when the London Mayor was left hanging in mid air after the zipwire got stuck.

Not only is the video clip a YouTube sensation, but now a whole series of spoof pictures have emerged with Boris “dangling”.

Pictures of him strapped into a harness and wearing a crash helmet are now all over the internet, riding the zipwire into a shark’s mouth, over the dome at Greenwich, lost in space, stuck in a giraffe’s mouth, bouncing in a doorway like a baby, making a guest appearance in the Olympic opening ceremony, hanging like a charm from a rear view mirror, or being used as a game of conkers for the kids.

It may not have been quite the publicity he was after, but it could be worse and let’s face it, we’ve all found ourselves in embarrassing situations.

I once got myself stuck in a £150 cocktail dress in a ladies’ changing room. I don’t even know why I was trying it on; I couldn’t afford it and certainly wasn’t going anywhere where I’d need to wear it.

It was a bit of a whim. It was there, it was beautiful, I just wanted to see what it looked like on.

But after five minutes of trying to undo the zip, I had to call for an assistant. She tried, and failed, to unzip it, as did her colleague.

They called their manager. After 15 minutes of huffing and puffing, the manager admitted the zip had stuck on other dresses, and she was going to have to cut me out.

It didn’t put me off shopping, but it could explain why I get clammy whenever I go into a changing room.

THERE will be considerable dismay in some quarters that the Prime Minister appears to have agreed that the idea of an airport in the Thames Estuary should be fully investigated.

Government to consult on Boris Island airport scheme>>>

But there ought not to be surprise - even if opponents will throw back at him his declaration more than a year ago that the government had 'no plans' to build such an airport. A similar commitment was given to the Rochester and Strood MP Mark Reckless by new transport secretary Justine Greening in precisely the same terms.

But it was George Osborne who paved the way for the idea of examining the scheme in November when he announced the government would 'explore all the options' for tackling the problems around aviation capacity.

Even so, today's news will be seen as a U-turn and a politically awkward one given the deep hostility among his own MPs in Kent.

It is worth pointing out that there has never been any likelihood the government itself would 'build' an airport - that would be for private investment consortiums.

Some will see it as a shot in the arm for Boris Johnson's campaign to be re-elected as London Mayor although I've never been persuaded that aviation capacity is something that preoccupies London voters as much as issues like tube fares or crime.

Politically, Mr Cameron will have to confront the fact that among the county's Conservative MPs, there is universal opposition. The Conservative controlled Medway Council remains wholly unconvinced - although there have been recent hints that Kent County Council may not be quite as implacably opposed as it once might have been. 

He may also be seen as having performed an about-turn and of betraying those who took him at his word that the government was not interested in the idea. Never an ideal position for a PM or for backbenchers who, in some cases, have marginal seats to defend in 2015.

What has changed? Underlying the news appears to be the feeling that aside from addressing the problem of capacity, a new airport would deliver a huge jobs boost and regenerate a part of the south east in a way no other project could conceivably get close to.

Perhaps it is no coincidence the news has come out on the day that unemployment figures have shown another rise in both Kent and Medway.

Those arguments will inevitably have to be balanced against the fact that an airport would have huge environmental consequences.

One thing is clear from today's news. Whatever one thinks of the idea, it can no longer be dismissed as 'pie in the sky.'