As you are all aware, the last two weeks in Kent have been somewhat horrendous. Unless you are between the ages of 5-17 of course! What with school closures, sledding, snowball fights, it’s far from a hard life for the youths.

That can’t be said for the full timers of the county, I certainly haven’t enjoyed the snow ... in fact, I’m pretty sick of it now. As a commuter into the city, last week was definitely not all-white!

Tuesday 30^th November: Plan of action - Save the company from being snowed under!

   It’s 6am and I switch on the telly to see the Weather News.

  ‘We urge you not to travel unless it’s completely necessary’

   I ignore that whilst sipping a hot cup of tea and loading myself up with Beechams.

   I take a quick glance out of the window to see 15cm of snow covering gardens and rooftops.  I must say it looks gorgeous when you’re behind double glazing. Anyway, I ignore the snow whilst opening the front door to head towards the coach stop in my utterly-unsuitable-for-snow kitten heels. I managed to plod halfway up the garden path before slipping onto my backside, hooking myself onto the brown bin on my way down (Massive bruise under the armpit... check!)

I thought I would be the Hero at work that would show all the 15-minute commuters up... living the furthest away I hoped for a big applause as I ploughed my way into the 4^th floor office.

Turns out, turning up 20 minutes late is anything but applaud-able especially when everyone else manages to make it in early despite the weather! I was quite confused as to how we had so much snow in Kent, yet London didn’t even have an icicle in sight? If anyone knows why the snow doesn't settle in London, I’d be very interested to know...?

Anyway, my lovely boss decided he’d let me leave 30 minutes early to avoid any ‘bad weather traffic’... However, all he really done was contributed 30 minutes to my 6 hour journey home. You’ll know from my previous posts that I’m not the biggest fan of commuting and that my coach doesn’t cater for us ‘might need a wee at some point’ passengers. Ultimate result was 3 ladies (including me) clambering off the coach to the hard shoulder and baring all to the standstill traffic and relieving ourselves into the snow. Not my finest moment, although we did receive a few car horns. *beep beep!*

Feeling like my heroic effort was completely wasted on Tuesday; I decided not to attempt the commute for the rest of the week. I hoped my managers would be understanding as I had sent them numerous photos of my traffic troubles the night before. I thought we’d put it down to ‘A Bloody Nightmare Week’ and they’d let me play in the snow instead. Unfortunately, I had to chomp away at my 3 remaining holidays I had left for the rest of the year.

In case you are wondering... the photos I sent them were of jack-knifed Lorries and abandoned cars, not of me squatting on the M25!

I suppose I shouldn’t moan too much as it could’ve been a lot worse. Those poor passengers stuck on a train at Orpington for 2 days! Including one disabled man, who was luckily moved to some sort of ‘safe house’ while they arranged engineers etc. You’d think that the trains nowadays could withstand against temperatures lower than -3 degrees!

I would love to hear other’s stories of Snow-vember & how it affected them.

Happy Sledding!!

Commuter Comparison : Train vs. Coach

 I think it’s about time someone put these two head-to-head.Not just which option is cheaper or whether you are guaranteed a seat… I mean a serious comparison on which is the best overall commuting experience. I’ll be looking at 3 categories - Entertainment, Comfort and Scenery, reaching a total score for each.

By all means, if you’re a commuter and wish to add your own views, then leave a comment & let me know which you prefer?

Entertainment – On The Train

1. The drunken snore that hides in the corner of the carriage. Usually occurs halfway home when the person has fallen into a deep sleep after too many lunchtime sherbets. This always raises a few giggles between other passengers – Score 4
2. The embarrassing ring tone. Whether it’s your children laughing or a clip of the ‘latest’ chart single – it’s very entertaining to watch the businessman squeeze his pocket in order to silence it. (Note to all; you may think your children are cute, but no-one else does) – Score 3
3. The table hog – is it really necessary to have your laptop, a book, the newspaper, your iPod and some left over lunch in front of you on your way home? I’d like to think the tables on a train are a luxury but if you are sitting next to a Hogger, it’s quite the opposite – Score 1
4. The Make up Artist – watching the ladies apply their makeup on the train is good entertainment, especially when they smudge it and look up to see if anyone witnessed their miss-hap. (Yes I saw) One thing I’d suggest to all female commuters – plucking eyebrows on public transport is just NOT acceptable. Score 3

Comfort – On The Train

1. Seats are a good size, you get a tray table and the window ledge is at a comfortable height to rest your arm if you want a nap. (or arm rest depending which seat you get) Sometimes getting a seat can be a mad max moment. Score 4
2. Heating & Air Con is usually just right on the train. It’s warm in the winter and cool when it’s hot. Saying that, if you pick the carriage with the broken system... you’re not in for a comfy journey! Hit or Miss Score 3
3. Toilets tend to be kept relatively clean - unless you are on the old South Easterns, the toilets look more like a dirty cupboard with a funhouse mirror. Score 2

Scenery – On The Train

Apart from countryside and the odd bridge, the most exciting things you get to see on the train is the graffiti around London, the occasional trolley dumped in a tunnel, and the late commuters when pulling out of a station. Why do they insist on running up to the door to press Open when it’s obvious the train is already moving? Score 2 out of 5.

Entertainment – On The Coach

1. The abrupt stop: You see your bus stop coming… you get your bags ready… begin to stand up and walk to the front… the driver sees you approaching in the mirror and Slam go the brakes! Your hand is now on someone’s head as a balance, your bag is swinging from your arm and your legs are like anchors holding you to the floor. Trying to maintain a smile, the doors slowly open; you compose yourself and give a swift ‘thanks, good night’ to the driver. It’s an awkward end to the day but the entertainment score is definitely a 4.
2. The Two-Seater. I must admit, I am guilty of this and there are a few ways people go about it. Ladies tend to have a ‘bag seat’ which is basically one chair for them and one for their belongings. Men do the ‘cover up’: sit on the aisle seat to hide the empty one by the window. And both sexes ‘play busy’: apply make up, read the paper, and pretend to sleep. Noone can justify this one, its just greedyness! It can be quite amusing when someone is asked to move over, it’s as though we were unaware of the empty seat next to us. Score 3
3. Overhead Compartments- Trust me, there is definate entertainment value there. Score 2
4. Forgetful Commuters – They are always at the coach stop before you, obviously been waiting a good five minutes and then suddenly realise they’ve forgotten something indoors/in the car. You can hear their brain ticking as they decide whether to go back for it. They start to walk swiftly from the bus stop – you know they will run as they disappear around the corner! The coach approaches from the bottom of the road and you think to yourself, do I tell the driver to wait? It’d be unfair to make everyone else late. It’s cruel, but I’ve done this and so have many others, no-one held the coach for me when I realised I had odd shoes on at the coach stop. Entertainment Value 5.

Comfort – On The Coach

1. Seating is always guaranteed on the coach, which is a big plus point. Wouldn’t fancy trying to stand in the aisle for 2 hours! The seats themselves could be slightly more padded, sometimes it feels as though you are sitting on a wooden chair with flimsy 70's seat covers - 3
2. Heating & Air Con – I’m sure the drivers are told to keep both to a limit, you feel nice and warm for a while and then half-way to work, you have to use your coat as a duvet. = 2
3. Toilets – non existent. I’m pretty sure Kings Ferry coaches have this luxury but Chalk well certainly doesn’t. Maybe that’s why they charge £1.50 more for a return ticket?  = 1

 Scenery – On The Coach

Personally, I think there’s more to see on a coach than the train. You get the countryside, you get shops, and you get the motorways… hell you even get to see the odd accident! Sick as it may be, humans have a natural instinct to stare when there’s trouble. The worse the crash, the more we look. Scenery score for the coach = 4/5

So, Total score is 22/40 for the train, but with 24/40 it’s the coach that has topped the bill. Ok… so maybe I lied at the start of my post when I said someone needs to create a ‘serious’ comparison. (I can’t see them publishing this on GoCompare.com!) However, I did promise an overall score showing which type of transport offers the best service.

Maybe you’ll consider my points and change the way you commute?

If you do, I’d advise you not to ask the lady at the back of the 7am chalkwell coach to move over. My bag does need its own seat :o)

The Do's & Don'ts of Commuting

I am one of many who take on the commute into London. Whether it’s driving, jumping on the train or catching the coach; everyone knows it’s an uncomfortable and boring experience.

For those of you who have never had to face our death-breath in the mornings... you aren’t missing a lot.

So what causes a return trip to London to be so unpleasant…

Our fellow passengers and their failure to use 24 hour deodorant?

The refreshment man who manages to steer his trolley straight into your elbow?

The automatic toilet door that mysteriously opens as you are mid-wee? (Even though you are certain you pressed ‘Lock’)

The coach door, that swings open just an inch from your face – surely they should have a warning sign about these!

Or maybe The Transport Companies themselves for ‘seeing how many humans we can pack into a giant tin can’?

I’m not sure myself, but hopefully my Do’s and Don’ts list will help us to have a nicer trip to work.

Do remember your P’s and Q’s when using public transport

- Because frankly there are not enough people that do

Do have your arm rest down 

- If you don’t, the distance between you and the next passenger becomes very awkward and they might take this as an invite to use your shoulder as a dribble-catcher.

Do have your ticket ready for when the conductor requests it

- There’s nothing worse than the pressure of trying to find it while he/she stands and waits.

Do have your ticket ready when you reach the gates at the train station

- Unless of course you want a giant human back-pack

Don’t sleep with your mouth ajar

- I’m convinced the people sitting opposite attempt to get things in my open mouth. I’ve been woken up before and looked down to see a Skittle on my lap – very embarrassing but half-glad they missed and I didn’t choke to death on a kiddie sweet.

Don’t sit on the seat near the toilet

-1) because it smells and 2) see the point I made earlier about the door… no one wants to witness that

Don’t wait right in front of the train doors as it pulls into the station just so you can nab the first seat

- Its very annoying … you know who you are

Don’t text or email a private message whilst on public transport

- There is ALWAYS someone reading over your shoulder. I once discovered the naughty antics of an elderly man just by peeking at his emails, if only I could hunt his wife down on facebook and let her know. Hmm….

Don’t eat smelly food

-Afternoon coffee breath is bad enough on the train home; we don’t need cheese and onion crisps added to the mix.

Don't choose the seat above the wheels on the coach

-The seat itself doesn't supply much leg room and is slightly higher than the rest. Plus you feel every lump and bump of the London & Medway roads. Not good for travel sickness sufferers.

So there are the basics for you, which I will be updating. If you catch anyone on your morning or evening commute do-ing or don’t-ing any of these…. Give them the link to my blog!

Thanks for reading, Happy Commuting!