All posts tagged 'food'

Time is ripe for a change of diet

by The Codgers' Club Friday, September 7 2012

by Alan Watkins

Why is it tomatoes insist on ripening all at the same time?

I ask this question because I have six plants – three in the greenhouse producing massive (and surprisingly tasty) fare –and three in hanging baskets producing literally thousands of marble-sized oh-so-succulent cherry tomatoes.

One evening they are green, attracting suicidal snails who never get beyond the tempting blue bail lying at the foot of the pots.

The next morning they are orange and by close of play are red, ripe and ready for the table. After looking at the monsters for several days, my wife started to use them.

We have eaten them raw, on cheese (raw and grilled), plain, salted and peppered, in salads, and baked with assorted fillings. Mince meat was fine, but I was a little surprised by the kangaroo and shark’s fin.

I have eaten them on their own instead of the more customary fruit such as an apple (which reminds me, weren’t the Discoverys a disappointment this year!)

Grimly biting into the 55th (all right, it may have been the 54th) greenhouse tomato of the summer – all eight ounces of it – but grinning to assure Sylv the toms were especially good this year, she looked at me and said: “I don’t like tomatoes that much.”

Several days later more tomatoes have ripened on the vines, the plants are trying to throw out more suckers to encourage yet more of the blessed brutes, and I decided to offer some to my colleagues.

I finally got one to say she would welcome some.

In my book (published by CW&J Codgers Ltd) that’s carte blanche to offer ‘em an ounce, and get rid of half a stone of sweet, fresh-scented, home grown fruit.

The trouble was, when I got home armed with a sturdy basket in which to place them, I discovered Herself had had similar thoughts.

The fiery sunset that had been the greenhouse for the past month was now a winter ocean green. It was stripped of ripening fruit.

She had picked them for my son and his family, leaving one split-sided brute that I wouldn’t offer one of the resident Spanish slugs before they encountered a salt bath.

The way things are now looking, I’ll have to pop round to the supermarket on the way into work on Monday to ensure there is no disappointed voice on the news desk when I arrive.

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Categories: Moans and groans

Calling someone ignorant may make you ignorant

by Medway's Victor Meldrew, by Danny Smith Friday, July 13 2012

The word 'ignorant' is often missued. How many times have you been called ignorant because you didn't answer someone or because you didn't reply to their text message? I'm constantly being called ignorant for that reason, but then, I am constantly ignoring people. People irk me, they ask stupid, pointless questions and say things that don't need to be said, on top of that, many people still insist on taking pictures of their food and posting it onto Facebook. What are you doing? Yes, you have a plate with food on it, congratulations! Now, if someone from the third world did this, maybe I'd be more impressed. 

Anyway I digress, the definition of 'ignorant' is as follows

Define: Ignorant: 

  1. Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
  2. Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular: "ignorant of astronomy".

That's straight from Google itself, by the way. So the words actual meaning is to be uneducated in something, for instance, I'm ignorant of quantum physics because I haven't studied it and learned the ins and outs of it, however, because I ignore someone, that doesn't technically make me 'ignorant' in fact, by definition, the fact that they are calling me ignorant actually makes them ignorant because they are uneducated to the meaning of the world 'ignorant'. Is the word ignorant starting to lose meaning? If it is, just look back to the definition above. 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave a comment below, if you don't, I may have to call you ignorant which by definition then makes me ignorant, and then things get complicated.


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Categories: Facebook | Moaning

Life’s too short to live on lettuce alone

by Nikki's world, with Nikki White Tuesday, February 14 2012
Telling a woman she’s too fat is never a good idea. Even saying she’s a little too fat won’t soften the blow.

Fair enough, Karl Lagerfeld has spent his life in a world where people are obsessed with being stick-thin, and telling a girl she needs to shift a few pounds is all part of the job.

But picking on Adele just isn’t on. Mr Lagerfeld may love the skinny-minny body, but it isn’t for all of us.

Of course I’d love to be a size 10, but the last time I fitted into something that small, I was still a teenager.

The only way I’m ever going to get back to that size is if I give up booze, chocolate and pasta and live on lettuce – life is just too short.

I love good food and if it means I tip the scales higher than some, then so be it.

Of course, I’m more careful these days than I was in the past – I’m conscious that my cholesterol level is higher than it should be and I do my best to eat reasonably healthily during the week, but it’s still fish and veg that I love. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t do it.

But come the weekends, I’ll tuck into whatever I want (or whatever’s available – have you tried getting a salad at a football match?)

I did once drop a few dress sizes, but it was the stress over a relationship break-up. I looked good, but I was utterly miserable. So I’m with Adele – life is for living.

Speaking of Adele, that girl was one of my bad decisions. She played Maidstone’s Big Weekend in 2008 and was first on the bill on Sunday.

Having worked until 2am that morning, I’d slept in and thought I’d give her a miss. What a mistake that was.

Still, not as big a mistake as a friend of mine, who turned down the chance to interview the umpteenth up-and-coming boy band to play a Gillingham nightclub. Yep, it was Take That.

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Categories: Food

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