by It's A Wonderful Life, by Lea Tierney
Wednesday, February 22 2012
Yes I am twenty three and in my friends list are both my parents. My Dad was temporarily removed a few months ago due to some images that I knew were going up and would offend his delicate sensibilities (what father wouldn’t be brimming with pride at photos of his little girl on a fancy dress night on the tiles I wonder?!). I live with said (sad) parents. My life is looking more and more desirable right? I got in from work this evening to find my mother far too engrossed in “how do I send someone a message?...OOOH SOMEONES TALKING TO ME!” (They can’t hear you if you squeal at the computer Mother although I – unfortunately – can) to say hello.
Eventually she manages to tear herself away from the social world of engaging with other human beings - solid proof that you really aren’t a teenager anymore mother - and comes into the kitchen to say hello: grinning like a Cheshire cat. This grin is something that women of all ages know the cause of. Deep sigh. “Ok. Who got fat?” no, not just fat apparently, like, SUPER fat. This is supposed to enrich my life in some way I presume as I am dragged to the computer to ascertain that, yes; my mother’s correspondent was, indeed, a little more than festively plump. Having established this I go back to making myself food and watching mum’s dinner cook into a congealed mess: “Mum, how long exactly are you going to cook that pasta for?” (It’s fresh pasta that requires about 5 minutes but has had about 20 minutes thanks to my mum’s somewhat limited attention span) “MUM, SERIOUSLY STOP TALKING TO THE FAT LADY AND COME AND HAVE DINNER”. She eats her “dinner” at the computer with her online friends. Ah, the joys of watching your own parents regress…
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