People are insane.
Halloween is approaching and "thrill seekers" are preparing to head out to the countless scary attractions around the county.
I went to the Freak Week at the Hop Farm, which runs until Halloween night, and nearly wet myself - not with laughter but with fear.
I'll hold my hands up to the accusations of "pansy," "scaredy cat," and "wimp" until the zombiefied cows come home. I was proper scared.
How people can think of this as fun is quite frankly, beyond me. Nevertheless, they do, and the attraction does good business too. It even won a national award last year.
I thought I'd be the big tough guy and stroll around the place when it came to the crunch. How wrong I was.
To my eternal shame, I yelled out every time a demonic face popped out of a hatch to warn me away. A particular low point came when I was cornered by a man wearing a pig mask.
Completely lost and desperate for the whole thing to come to an end, I shouted at him "I don't know where to go!" I shouted it. At a man. Wearing a pig mask.
Idiot.
So for those of you who enjoy having the life scared out of you, enjoy the Halloween period. For those tagging along who scoff at this kind of thing, just make sure you know you won't find yourself yelling in desperation at someone you have never met before.
Otherwise you might end up looking like a big girl's blouse.
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To concure with the above blog, please see below an image which calmed my nerves after writing up my review of Freak Week.
It is of a trio of red river hoglets who can now be seen at Howletts Wild Animal Park, near Canterbury, in time for October half term.
A welcome and cuddly antidote to any post-Halloween stress disorder.
Picture: Dave Rolfe
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