Travelling on the Bus

Travelling on the Bus

by Medway's Victor Meldrew, by Danny Smith Monday, December 10 2012

Travelling on the bus is something some of us HAVE to do in order to get anywhere. Many people not accustomed to bus travel and do not do it frequently hate the experience though I'm starting to believe accustomed bus travellers actually start to enjoy the whole experience. 

When I was attending college, I had to travel by bus for 1 hour and 10 minutes to college and then again home from college. In the start I hated it, what a waste of time I thought it was, always awkward when an overweight stranger sits down next to you and you find your face being squashed against the glass.

However - After several months I begun to like travelling on the bus, I begun to notice patterns that infrequent bus travellers would never notice. I am now a self imposed expert bus traveller. Do not confuse this to be a hobby, I do not travel the bus as some type of weird hobby, though I expect these people do exist somewhere. There are several different types of bus travellers and each of them have their own entertainment value, I'm going to go into and describe them for you.

1. The Sleeping Guy

You've seen him. Hes sitting in his chair hunched over fast asleep, he moves with the forces of the bus. At times he'll lift his head up only to drop it back down again, any minute now you expect him to face plant into the floor or into someone elses lap, you sit their hoping for this outcome that ultimately never comes. This guy a pro sleeper, whenever he gets onto the bus he knows he will be taking a nap on this journey. You'll find one on almost every bus.

2. The Inavertant Entertainers

Every single bus (apart from empty ones) has them. Two loud talking friends or indeed, strangers strike up a conversation and every other passenger secretly listens in. We never discuss the fact that we are listening but we all know, and we all form exactly the same opinion as each other. "These two are boring" or "this is entertaining", many a time have I been dissapointed by this particular set of people. One of the worst ever conversations I've had the misfortune to hear was a few days ago, here's how it played out

Entertainer 1: You get the 141 to your house but I get the 414, isnt thaty funny

Entertainer 1: Its hard to remember which bus I'm supposed to get, they're so similar

Entertainer 2: Yeah I know what you mean

Entertainer 1: I mean your bus goes to my house but it takes longer, mine is much faster

I banged my head against the window several times before getting off of the bus a few stops early, just to avoid hearing anymore.

3. The Crazy Lady

I'm sure you're instantly picturing your crazy lady right now, if you're not, you clearly don't travel the bus often enough. This lady will talk to everyone she possibly can, including herself. She will also take it upon herself to wake at people outside of the bus, this is something that should never be done. When you get onto a bus you agree that whilst on this particular bus, the bus will own you. Anyone not on said bus is to be seen as a dodgy outsider. This lady however ignores these unwritten rules. She'll go as far as banging on the window and shouting someones name if she knows them. Entertaining for about 5 minutes, beyond that you want to chuck her off the moving bus.

4. The Music Player

Possibly the most annoying passenger you can get. This one sits at the back of the bus in his favourite tracksuit bottoms looking like hes just rolled in from The Jeremy Kyle Show. He takes out his mobile phone and proceeds to play the worst kind of music known to man, Rap or Dubstep. He will play this music for the entire journey annoying every single other passenger on board, no one says a word to him, we simply tut out loud and curse at him in our heads.

If you would like to share your bus travelling stories/add to the list here, please feel free to comment. And remember, the top deck front seat above the driver is mine, I have claimed it, so please, do not sit there.

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Medway's Victor Meldrew, by Danny Smith

I'm the type of guy that absolutely loves to moan about things, things that a large majority of people simply overlook wind me up and there's nothing better than letting off steam by forcing overs to listen to me moan.

I'm also fairly good at advice, ironically. If you're a guy and need some tips with the ladies, this is the place, I plan to give a male perspective on dating whilst throwing in a few whingy blog posts for good measure.


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